Impossible Choice
by Cerih
Summary: How would you choose? Spoilers for season 3 up to and including 'Immortality'. Peter/Olivia
1. Impossible Choice

Disclaimer: I don't own Fringe.

Author's note: I was supposed to be finishing the final chapter of 'A Moment Lost', when this appeared in my head and wouldn't go away. It takes place between Immortality and 6B. It was initially supposed to be one-off, but now I'm not so sure. I have an idea about where things would go from here, so I suspect sooner or later I end writing more chapters for this. As a result, for now, I'll leave this marked incomplete. Reviews always appreciated. Enjoy!

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It was quiet in the lab, except for the low humming of the machines and Gene shifting in her stall. Peter leaned back from the circuit board he had been tinkering with and stretched his stiff back. Evidently he should take breaks more often. The thought made him glance towards the office, where the desk lamp was shining between the blinds. They had closed another case earlier in the day and having wrapped up everything in the Federal Building, Olivia had escaped to the lab to tackle the mountain of paperwork each of their cases inevitably generated. She had been cooped up in the lab's small office for hours now, engrossed in the task at hand.

Peter pushed his chair away from the lab table he was facing and got up, glad to stretch his legs. Olivia too could probably do with a break, he decided as he headed towards the open doorway. He found her busy typing up a report on her laptop, a distant look in her eyes suggesting that she was only half concentrating on what she was writing. The stack of papers requiring her attention was greatly reduced. Peter leaned against the door frame to simply look at her for a moment. She had taken off her jacket and was wearing only a white short-sleeved shirt that was thin enough that he could almost make out the outline of her body through it. The lamp made her hair almost glow and her brow was creased in concentration. There were circles under her eyes, which spoke of too many hours spent focused on her work and too little time spent resting, as was often the case with her.

Although he made no noise, Olivia seemed to sense that she was being watched and glanced towards the door. When her eyes found him, she looked a little surprised and then one of her eyebrows rose in a silent question.

"I figured you could use someone to tell you that you're working too hard and at the very least need a break." The smile that lit her face made his palms sweaty and he absentmindedly rubbed them against his sides. She leaned back and stretched, unconsciously copying his movements from earlier. This made him smile.

"I could certainly use some fresh air," he started tentatively, "I wondered if you would like to go for a quick walk? Most of the students should have left the campus by now, so we could probably have the park to ourselves." He watched her hesitate and glance at the document she had been writing. His heart fell, certain that she would turn down the offer, but then he saw resolve in her eyes.

"Sure, let me just finish this paragraph I was writing." She started typing again and Peter released a breath he had not realised he was holding.

A few minutes later she was ready and came out of the office, pulling her jacket back on. Peter, who was switching off the machines that were not needed on overnight, noted this with a twinge of disappointment. He had rather enjoyed the tantalising hints of what Olivia's shirt was covering. He turned off the lights and then turned to Olivia, who was now only illuminated through the light filtering through the high windows.

"Ready?"

She nodded and together they exited the lab, with Peter pausing to lock the door behind them. As they headed down the corridor, they heard Gene moo. They glanced at each other, both breaking into a grin.

"I think she would like to join us," Olivia said, amusement clear in her voice.

"Lovely as though she is, I'm not taking a cow for a walk around the campus." He paused for a moment and then added. "Or anywhere else for that matter. Walter wanted a cow, Walter can walk the cow." They both chuckled at the mental image of Walter putting Gene on a leash and taking her for a walk.

Outside the night air was mild, but enough of a chill lingered in the air that wearing a jacket was a good idea, despite Peter preferring otherwise. They headed for the park, where the streetlights were casting a yellow glow on the old oak trees flanking the gravel path. For a while their shoes crunching on the gravel was the only sound they heard. Peter enjoyed the comfortable silence between them. There were many things he wanted to say to her and talk to her about, but he did not feel the need to hurry with any of it. In the end it was Olivia who broke the silence.

"So I read the book," she said, glancing at Peter. He frowned in confusion for a moment and then realised which book she was referring to.

"And how did you find it?" He queried, with a small smile tugging at his lips.

"It explains a lot, actually." Olivia replied, a mischievous smile making her eyes light up. Peter raised his eyebrows, intrigued when Olivia did not elaborate further. Olivia glanced at him to see his interest piqued, but then innocently looked away and kept walking. He laughed softly at her, genuinely happy in the moment alone with her. Peter suspected this was the most relaxed he had seen Olivia in his company since he had told her about his relationship with the other Olivia. The thought threatened to darken his mood, but he deliberately pushed it aside and focused on the beautiful woman next to him.

"What do you think about Walter's latest project?" He asked, changing the subject. Walter had dragged long-suffering Astrid all the way to the Massive Dynamic headquarters in New York to work on his new idea.

"Do you mean his plans to create a device which will enable him to communicate with grasshoppers?" Olivia checked and Peter nodded. "Well, it sounds very…" She struggled to find an appropriate word.

"Walter?" Peter offered.

"Yes," Olivia agreed, laughing, "it's a very Walter project to be working on." They both grinned as they thought of some of the insane things Walter had wanted to do in the lab.

They had walked a rough circle in the park were now heading back towards the university buildings. Not wanting this frail moment of genuine connection between them to end, Peter surreptitiously inched a little closer to Olivia. He let his fingers brush against the back of Olivia's hand, watching her reaction from the corner of his eye. The contact made her look at Peter, a shy smile appearing on her lips. The vulnerability she was showing him made him want to both weep and gather her gently into his arms simultaneously, swearing to her that he would never let her down again. As it was, he settled for the next best thing and boldly captured her hand in his, stopping them both in the process.

"Walter is going to be busy with the caeliferae in New York until late tonight," Peter began, unable to quite keep his nervousness from his voice. "I wondered if you would like to come back to mine and I could cook some dinner for us?"

As Peter watched emotions flicker over Olivia's features, he was again certain that she would pass on his offer. Fear, hurt and hesitation warred in her eyes, together with hints of something that made Peter's heart beat faster. In the end, however, just like before, all her mixed feelings were replaced by resolve.

"I think I'd like that," she nodded and looked at her feet, thereby missing the relieved grin that appeared on Peter's face. They headed towards the parking lot, still holding hands.

"Peter wait," they had got to his car when Olivia suddenly stopped and Peter immediately thought that she had changed her mind. "I left my laptop in the lab. I really should go get it, just in case some drunken students decide to break into the lab and discover that alternate realities exist."

"Of course," Peter nodded, doing his best to conceal his relief, and together they headed back towards the lab.

They were just locking up the lab for the second time, Olivia having picked up her laptop bag, when their pleasant evening of infinite possibilities came to an abrupt halt. Further down the corridor, away from the exit, a portal suddenly shimmered into existence. They both whirled around to face it and saw that on the far side, the other Olivia stood watching them. Her hair was red again and she wore her usual utilitarian clothes. They stared at her with obvious apprehension, secretly surprised that she had not crossed over already. Behind her red-haired counterpart, Olivia thought she could see a familiar looking lab and she shivered involuntarily.

"Peter," the other Olivia said, hesitation and something else, longing or love perhaps, making her voice husky.

"What do you want?" He asked, his voice suddenly unsteady. The Olivia by his side turned to watch him, her face unreadable.

"There's something you need to know," the other Olivia began, but Peter interrupted her. "Let me guess, you missed me, quite liked living in this world, would like to play us unsuspecting idiots a little more and you are hoping that my Olivia will agree to switch places with you?" Without realising, he had taken the blond Olivia's hand into his once more.

"Actually, I am here to get you to come home," the redhead said hesitantly, hurt at his words obvious in her eyes.

"I am home," Peter said coldly.

"Peter, you need to come back to your real home," she tried again.

"Why?"

"Because I'm 15 weeks pregnant." She unzipped her bulky jacket, revealing her slim figure, which was just beginning to show a gentle swell on her belly.

As Peter did the mental math and the words sunk in, he glanced at the Olivia by her side. She had reached the same conclusion as he had, just as quickly, and he could feel a tremor running through her body. She had become ghostly pale and looked like she might collapse at any moment.

"You now have choice," the other Olivia broke the silence that had fallen while the other two digested the shocking news, "you can either choose to come home to your real parents and your baby, or you can stay with your kidnapper and never see your child grow up."

Peter tried to think of something to say, but his mind had gone completely blank. Whatever consequences he had imagined resulting from his affair with the wrong Olivia, this had never featured on the list. Too late he realised his mistake, having been so focused on the blossoming relationship that he never thought to consider birth control. His Olivia recovered first, while he was still trying to take in the enormity and impossibility of the choice facing him.

"If you go back to the other side, Walternate is going to use you to destroy this world." Peter could detect a hint of panic in Olivia's voice and his face darkened as he saw the sense in her words.

"I am not going to let that happen," he said, looking at the woman beside him with what he hoped was reassurance and determination.

"But he has leverage now," Olivia pointed out quietly. "I doubt you will sacrifice your own child to defy him."

"So this is just a ploy to get me to win the war for you," Peter raised his voice and turned to look at the pregnant Olivia, "and the baby will ensure my co-operation?"

"No," the other Olivia shook her head. "Mr Secretary is genuinely delighted about the pregnancy and he would never do anything to jeopardise his only grandchild's safety."

"You clearly have no idea what he is capable of," the blond Olivia interrupted. "I on the other hand got to know him pretty well while he was experimenting on me."

"I'm sorry about everything," the red head said, addressing her blond counterpart for the first time, "I was just doing my job."

"I could shoot you in the stomach now," Olivia replied, her voice utterly cold, "and I would still be doing my job. You don't even understand what you have gotten yourself involved in, just by blindly following orders. Your wonderful Mr Secretary has declared a war on our universe because of a crime committed by one man. Only a handful of people in our universe even know about alternate universes. It is only your side that is at war and because of that, six billion innocent people in this world will die. But of course it's all fine, because you're just doing your job."

Peter and the other Olivia were momentarily stunned by the harsh emotion in Olivia's voice.

"Besides, you already took everything from me," the anger in Olivia's voice faded into bitterness, "and now you decided to come back for more?"

"I didn't plan for the pregnancy," the other Olivia defended herself," it just happened." Olivia was about to respond when Peter spoke up.

"If I go with you, it's because of the child and not my real parents or you." His insides ached at the heart-wrenching sob of grief that escaped from the Olivia beside him. "The Olivia Dunham I love is the one next to me and not you."

Peter felt Olivia's fingers slip from his grasp as she moved away from him. She turned to head to the exit. "Olivia?" His voice was filled with confusion and sadness, which made Olivia pause and look at him over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Peter," she whispered, "but I can't watch you leave." She turned to go, but not before Peter saw cascade of tears spill down her cheeks. He called her name again and this time she kept going, rounding a corner and vanishing from sight. As soon as she knew Peter could no longer see her, her legs lost their strength and she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest and began to sob.

In the meanwhile, Peter turned to the other Olivia, who recoiled at the dark fury on his face. She felt something inside her crack at the hostility he was exuding. She had expected him to be shocked, scared even, but never this angry. Despite it all, he was still willing to accept the consequences of his actions, but Olivia knew in her heart that they would never be a happy family.

"That baby better be mine," he said bitterly as he walked through the portal.


	2. Broken

Disclaimer: I don't own Fringe.

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Peter stepped through the portal and past the other Olivia, who had moved out of his way. The doorway to everything he loved closed behind him and a group of scientists and members of the Fringe division crowded closer to check the radiation levels and whether there was any undue softening in the fabric of their universe. While he was passing between worlds, Peter had brought his emotions under control and now his face showed only mild disinterest as he took in his surroundings. He had arrived in a vast lab full of expensive looking equipment and people in white coats. Judging by the size of the area alone, he was somewhere within Liberty Island and sure enough he spotted Walternate supervising the work around the portal from a higher level. His real father appeared regal and distant, but Peter could feel the man's eyes on him as he turned towards the red-haired Olivia who was still standing nearby.

As he approached his face was carefully expressionless, but she knew him well enough to know that the tightness around his eyes meant that he was very angry. He was surreptitiously glancing around, mindful of the people near them, and when he stopped in front of her he conjured up a neutral smile for their benefit.

"Olivia," he greeted her and rested his hand lightly on her arm. She responded to his smile, but her eyes betrayed her wariness.

"I would very much like to attend any scans you have during your pregnancy," he said, still with a pleasant but fake smile, "if that's okay with you?"

"Of course," she nodded, "I would love to have you there."

"Excellent, let me know the dates and I'll be there," he leaned closer and brushed his lips against Olivia's cheek, whispering to her ear, "and I want a paternity test at the first opportunity." Olivia had to force herself to stand still and to not recoil from his icy words. She stood watching him as he turned from her and headed towards his father.

Peter took the metal stairs two at a time, aware that his father was watching his approach even as he kept his eyes at his feet. By the time he met his father's gaze, he had groomed his expression to that of wary friendliness. This was where years spent as a conman were becoming very handy indeed. Walternate smiled at him.

"Hello son," he extended his hand.

"Father," Peter nodded and shook the offered hand firmly. He did not like calling this near-stranger his father, but nothing outwardly betrayed his feelings.

"Welcome home," Walternate was watching him closely, eyes shrewd, even as he spoke.

"Thank you, father." Peter smiled affably. He thought for a moment, letting silence fall between them. "I take it mother is not here?"

"No," Walternate shook his head, "she rarely comes to the city these days."

"I would very much like to see her." His voice was a little wistful.

"Of course," Walternate agreed quickly. "I will arrange a zeppelin to fly you home."

"Thank you," this time his smile was almost genuine. He nodded goodbye to his father and followed a scientist who took him to the zeppelin docks.

As he soared over the city, Peter watched the foreign yet familiar landscape below him. He never thought he would return to this world and certainly never under these circumstances. His heavy sigh matched the despair he felt within his heart. He recalled what Olivia had told him of her time with this world's version of the Fringe division. Her experiences here alone were enough to make him dislike this world intensely and it did not help that he knew himself to be the root cause of this universe slowly breaking apart. This was not a great place to bring up a baby, but it was not as though he had any choice in the matter.

Elizabeth Bishop was waiting for him by the front door when he slowly walked up to the house. She did not look the least bit surprised as she gave him a radiant smile and so Peter assumed that Walternate had called ahead to inform her of his return. His mother opened her arms and he gladly walked into her embrace. As she held him close, a great shudder ran through him. Elizabeth pulled back to look at her son and silently pulled him into the house.

"I prepared a room for you," she said opening the door of one of the guest bedrooms. "I though you might like a more adult room."

"Thank you," he smiled, although he could not have cared less which room he was to sleep in. His mother sat down on the sofa by the window and indicated that he should do the same.

"I take it that you have heard the news?" Peter asked as he sat down next to her. He thought he might as well cut to the chase regarding the impending arrival of a grandchild.

"Yes, Walter told me couple of weeks ago," Elizabeth smiled brightly. "It's wonderful news!" Her smile faltered as she saw the sorrow in Peter's eyes. "Isn't it?"

"I was careless," he said candidly, "and now I will pay for my mistakes. But the price was that I had to give up my work, the only home I have ever remembered and the woman I love. Now I'll never see my Olivia again." As he spoke, his words sunk in properly for the first time. All his carefully constructed emotions fell away and all that was left of him was a heartbroken man. The first sob shook him just as Elizabeth wrapped her arm around him.

Laying his head on his mother's lap, Peter Bishop wept.

Olivia stayed huddled on the corridor floor seemingly forever, unable to stop the sobs shaking her whole body. Eventually the pain from sitting in a cramped position on the cold concrete floor filtered through her overwhelming grief and forced her to move. She got up and grimaced as her stiff muscles protested the sudden movement, but the discomfort was a mere inconvenience compared to the pain inside her. Peter and the portal were long gone and she deliberately avoided looking around the corner at the spot where they had stood earlier. She picked up her laptop bag with a deep sigh and limped towards the exit.

Out in the parking lot, her traitorous eyes sought out Peter's car and fresh tears threatened to fall. Had she not insisted that they go back for her laptop, they would probably be having dinner or enjoying coffee on the sofa at the Bishops' residence by now. The irony of the situation did not escape her, since it was her sense of duty that had robbed them of a chance to discover where the evening might have taken them. The rational side of Olivia's brain knew that the other Olivia would have found them sooner or later anyway and that losing Peter would have been even harder if they had had a chance to lay their feelings out in the open or spend the night together. Her heavy heart, however, wished that she would have more to remember him by than just the one kiss they shared in the other world what seemed like a lifetime ago. She would have liked to have felt his hands on her bare skin and his solid weight on her. She wished she could have woken up in his arms even just once.

She suddenly realised that she had been standing by Peter's car long enough for her back to start aching, tears falling at a steady pace. She dried her cheeks and shivered against the chill of the night. She forced her unresponsive body to move and walked the short distance to her car. Once inside, Olivia turned the heat up in an attempt to get warm, but all that happened was that her hands shook a little less. The chill seemed to have settled deep within her and she doubted whether she would ever feel warm again.

Olivia somehow managed to drive herself home, although as she opened the door to her apartment she could not recall a single detail about the journey. It was a small miracle that she had not caused an accident and hurt herself or someone else. It scared her how close to catatonic Peter's departure had made her and a little voice in her mind wondered if this was how she would be for the rest of her life.

In a further attempt to stave off the cold, she took a long shower, spending most of the time sitting under the near-scalding spray, unable to will herself to move. Despite the cascading water and the humid mist hanging in the bathroom, she could still feel a cold hand gripping her heart. It was only when the water became tepid that she reluctantly pushed herself up and switched off the shower. As the walked out of the steamed up bathroom wrapped in a thick robe, an impulse had her pull open her wardrobe and push aside her clothes so that she could see to the far back. There, neatly folded out of sight, was Peter's MIT T-shirt. Gritting her teeth, Olivia pulled it on, discarding her robe. It smelled only of clean laundry, but just knowing that he had once worn the shirt offered a small measure of comfort for her.

She curled up in bed, under the covers, wearing just Peter's shirt. Almost unconsciously she rolled to her side and wrapped her arms around herself, as if the feeble gesture could somehow contain the immense grief she felt. Tears began to fall again as her heart howled for the love she had lost. There in the silence of her bedroom, Olivia had no reason to appear strong for anyone and she allowed herself to break down completely. Her pillows gradually grew damp with her tears as she mourned her loss. She cried for the man who was her best friend, her voice of reason, a thorn in her side, her rock and the person with whom she had fallen in love a long time ago. She cried for herself, for all the opportunities she had wasted by not having the courage to open up and to take a chance. Most of all, she cried for a future that was now lost forever.

When the pale morning light reached her bedroom, Olivia was still lying on her side, staring at the opposite wall with unseeing eyes, an occasional tear still escaping from the corner of her eye. As she gradually emerged from her trance-like state, she pulled together the broken pieces of her heart. Olivia took all her hurt and sorrow and love and put them in a box, which she then locked and threw away the key. When she was done, she felt nothing at all. She had allowed herself one night to mourn everything she had lost and now she would have to face a world without Peter Bishop in it; a world which could come to an end any day. No matter how intensely she hated it now, she still had a job to do.

This time, when she reached the parking lot, she knew to avoid looking at the area where Peter's car still stood. Instead, she hurried in past the students crowding the corridors, towards the emptier areas of the building. She had to take a deep breath to calm herself when she reached the spot where she had sobbed the previous night. The thought of continuing on to the lab door and seeing where Peter had made his choice to leave their world was enough to nearly bring down her carefully constructed façade of professional detachment. She balled her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palms in the process, and walked on, fixing her eyes on the lab's door handle.

"Ah, Agent Dunham," Walter's face brightened when Olivia slipped through the door, "have you left my son in your bed this morning? He did not come home last night and his car is still outside, leading me to jump to the only possible conclusion." He winked at her with great deal of exaggeration. Both Walter and Astrid were utterly unprepared for the way his words caused Olivia's mask of polite interest to crack and they caught a brief glimpse utter devastation on her face, before she regained her composure.

"Peter?" Walter's eyes widened in horror and he stumbled backwards. Only Astrid's quick reflexes saved him from falling and she took his arm with a look of concern.

"Last night, Walternate opened a portal between our worlds," Olivia had to try several times before the words came out. "The other Olivia was waiting on the other side. She is, she is pregnant with Peter's baby. And so he crossed over, to be with his child."

Olivia's words hung in the air, the lab utterly silent as Astrid and Walter tried to process the implications of what they had just heard. Astrid was the first to move and after making sure that Walter could stand by himself, she went to Olivia, clearly intending to hug the taller agent. Behind her, Walter began making a desperate keening sound as his whole body starting shaking. Olivia stepped backwards, out of Astrid's reach and around her.

"No. We have work to do." She approached Walter and gripped the old man's shoulders hard enough to leave bruises. "Walternate is going to use Peter's baby to get him to activate the machine and destroy our world. Somehow, the three of us will have to find a way to stop that from happening. We have to put aside our personal grieving, because the fate of our world is what matters now."


End file.
